News News of the Week

News of the Week: Fall Books, Comma Abuse, and the Weird World of Inebriated Seafood

A pair of reading glasses on a book
A pair of reading glasses on a book(Shutterstock)

Learn This!

If this have been 1988 and a time traveler got here again in time and advised me that in 2018, Invoice Cosby goes to jail, there’s a brand new Magnum P.I., and President Donald Trump addresses the United Nations, I might have in all probability put that point traveler in the similar class as the man who stands on the road nook yelling at birds. In fact, it wouldn’t have stopped me from asking him what the Megabucks numbers can be on a sure date.

However these are all precise issues that occurred this week, which leads me to this: There’s a lot information coming at us now, and it’s all merely exhausting. It looks like there’s BREAKING NEWS each 5 minutes (and most of it isn’t even “breaking”), and it has made me tense and irritated. I’m not even on social media and I really feel overwhelmed. We’re all in info overload, all of us have ADD, and all of us want a break.

And we will get that break by turning off the TV, placing down our telephones, and opening a ebook. Listed here are a couple of new ones which may curiosity you.

Management in Turbulent Occasions, by Doris Kearns Goodwin (out now). The historian seems again at 4 presidents — Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Lyndon B. Johnson — and explains how they turned leaders.

None of My Enterprise, by P.J. O’Rourke (out now). The humorist tries to elucidate the monetary world to us, together with why you’re not wealthy.

Your Duck Is My Duck, by Deborah Eisenberg (out now). The acclaimed writer is again with a guide of brief tales, her first assortment since 2006.

My Life with John Steinbeck: The Story of John Steinbeck’s Forgotten Spouse, by Gwyn Conger Steinbeck (out now). This memoir by the second spouse of the Of Mice and Males writer reveals some issues that his followers won’t need to hear.

Transcription, by Kate Atkinson (out now). The newest novel from the acclaimed writer of Life after Life and A God in Ruins is “a dramatic story of WWII espionage, betrayal, and loyalty.” She’s one of Stephen King’s favourite writers.

The Reckoning, by John Grisham (October 23). Grisham’s newest novel considerations an lawyer who tries to defend one of the most-liked residents of a small Mississippi city, who admits to killing a pastor and good friend, however gained’t say why.

Prepare dinner Like a Professional, by Ina Garten (October 23). That is the Barefoot Contessa host’s 11th e-book. I don’t know in the event you’ll have the ability to truly prepare dinner like a professional, however I guess you can also make one thing that tastes actually nice.

Too Many Commas

By no means thoughts overseas coverage, the financial system, or healthcare. I’m extra keen on what the present administration is doing about punctuation.

The State Division is cracking down on the misuse of commas in official paperwork and press releases. In line with CNN, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has despatched out emails asking employees to cease utilizing so many commas. Plainly Pompeo is an enormous fan of the Chicago Guide of Fashion.

That is all nicely and good, and I applaud any try to repair dangerous punctuation and dangerous grammar. I simply hope they’re followers of the Oxford Comma.

By the approach, the new Magnum P.I. I discussed above is lacking its comma, too. As I advised you some time again, CBS did this on function so the title can be hashtag-friendly on Twitter and extra simply present in Google searches.

Papa John’s Might Change Identify to Papa Johns

Let me repeat that when you didn’t get it the first time: Papa John’s needs to vary its identify to Papa Johns.

Do you discover the distinction? The apostrophe in John’s is gone (looks like everyone seems to be cracking down on punctuation this week). It’s not an enormous change, however the firm is making an attempt to distance itself from controversial founder John Schnatter, who is definitely making an attempt to purchase again the firm.

In different name-change information, Weight Watchers is turning into WW. Not solely is that this identify change complicated, it’s additionally useless. The corporate needs to focus extra on common well-being and well being, and not focus a lot on weight reduction, as a result of the phrase weight might be too politically incorrect.

Isn’t WW fairly cumbersome? Do they consider that everybody in the world will simply overlook that the first W stands for weight?

To not be outdone, Dunkin’ Donuts is altering its identify, too. They’re nonetheless going to promote donuts (in addition to doughnuts), however they need to be referred to as a beverage place first, so beginning in January, it’s simply going to be generally known as Dunkin’. As a result of every thing is ridiculous.

Do We Want a Voice-Managed Microwave?

No, of course not. However that’s not stopping them from coming.

Amazon needs to be in each single room of our houses, and one of their kitchen gadgets is a microwave that takes instructions by way of Alexa. The Senior Vice President of Amazon Units says “the user interface is stuck in the ’70s,” and it’s time for one thing like this. Sure, these days of urgent a button in your microwave are soooooo 1979.

The one method a voice-controlled microwave would make sense is that if it goes to the grocery store for me, locations the meals in the microwave for me, and then yells at me for purchasing microwave dinners as an alternative of cooking one thing myself.


Do you know that octopuses (and I’ll by no means consider that’s the plural) are extra social once they’re given the drug ecstasy?

That’s the odd headline on this BBC story. I don’t know why you’d need to make an octopus extra social, however there it’s.

They usually’re not the solely residents of the sea who’re getting excessive. Charlotte’s Legendary Lobster Pound, a restaurant in Maine, has been giving marijuana to lobsters to make them extra docile and sleepy earlier than they’re, nicely, thrown in boiling water. The state of Maine has requested the restaurant to cease doing this.

By the method, Social Octopus was the identify of my highschool ska band.

RIP Gary Kurtz, Jack Younger, and Laurie Mitchell

Gary Kurtz produced such films as Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Again, American Graffiti, and The Darkish Crystal. He died Sunday at the age of 78.

Jack Younger was a stuntman who labored on dozens of films over the years, together with Rio Bravo (he’s the man who falls from the loft after Dean Martin shoots him), D.O.A., Excessive Midday, The Conqueror, three:10 to Yuma, The Alamo, and How the West Was Gained. He died final month at the age of 91.

Laurie Mitchell performed the evil area queen in the 1950s camp basic Queen of Outer Area. She additionally appeared in Assault of the Puppet Individuals and TV exhibits like 77 Sundown Strip, Perry Mason, and Richard Diamond, Personal Detective. She died final week at the age of 90.

Quote of the Week

“Why would they cancel a popular show that everybody loves?!”

—Kyle, browsing round, in search of his favourite TV present, on tonight’s season premiere of Final Man Standing, now on Fox after being canceled by ABC

This Week in Historical past

60 Minutes Premieres (September 24, 1968)

The venerable CBS information journal celebrated 50 years this week. Listed here are 5 occasions the present shocked viewers, and right here’s our interview with humorist Andy Rooney.

William Faulkner Born (September 25, 1897)

The Submit revealed 22 brief tales by the Southern author from 1930 till 1967. He gained the Nobel Prize for literature in 1949.

This Week in Saturday Night Submit Historical past: Penny Sweet (September 23, 1944)

Boy deciding on penny candy, bored clerk watches

Penny Sweet
Stevan Dohanos
September 23, 1944

One of my favourite childhood reminiscences goes to the retailer and getting an enormous bag of penny sweet and different goodies. The expression on the clerk’s face on this Stevan Dohanos portray is one I keep in mind properly. Come on child, what would you like, I’ve issues to do. 

The taped glass is a pleasant contact. In all probability from youngsters tapping on the glass too onerous, pointing to the sweet they need.

Nationwide Espresso Day

I all the time snigger to myself once I hear about this vacation, as a result of individuals who drink espresso don’t want a big day. They drink it each day anyway. You’re in all probability consuming a cup proper now as you’re studying this.

Saturday is Nationwide Espresso Day, and many of the chains are having particular offers. I couldn’t discover something for Starbucks, however at Krispy Kreme you will get a free scorching or iced espresso of any measurement. Peet’s is providing a free drip espresso or tea and 25% off a pound of beans at collaborating places. And Dunkin’ Donuts is having a “buy one, get one free” promotion on scorching espresso all day lengthy.

Oh, sorry: DUNKIN’. I’m by no means going to get used to that.

Subsequent Week’s Holidays and Occasions

Clergy Appreciation Month

October is the month when congregations honor their pastors and clergymen and their households. This month additionally has Clergy Appreciation Day, which this yr is October 14.

Get Organized Week (October 1-7)

New Yr’s Day looks like the logical time to vary issues up and lastly get organized, with a recent new yr beginning up. However many individuals (like me) love to do it in the fall, when the air turns cool and youngsters are again in class and everybody has extra power and it’s time to go to The Container Retailer and Staples for provides to get issues organized.

However that’s subsequent week. This week, you’ll be able to nonetheless be disorganized and frantic if you’d like.

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